a little pain, A Lot of Pain, The PAIN SCALE HIT A MIGHTY 11 TODAY!

I’m not monkeying around either……

My week began with a hose breaking on my car radiator. It occurred as I was running late to the Pain Clinic. Traffic was detoured, naturally, because an 18 Wheeler tipped over on its side blocking Route 113 the fastest way from my home to the hospital. The only other route to go to the Anna Jaques Hospital involves driving over the scariest bridge i know of…..the Rocks Village Bridge located in Haverhill/Merrimac/ town lines.

I live in Northern Massachusetts on the New Hampshire border all my life. The hospital located in Haverhill the city I live in is a for profit hospital. They are not a personable place to visit let alone stay if you are ill. (Did that past July for 8 days with pneumonia. Have zero plans of ever visiting again!)

The Merrimack river winds throughout the area. There are bridges you have to use in order to get there from here….. it is a fact of life. But….I’ve always had a morbid fear about driving over any of the many bridges, without warning it drops me inside of my car into the water. Splat. In my dreams I’m usually awake and fighting for my life. Rarely do I ever complete the dream by waking up alive. My luck?

So, on Monday I’m rushing to to hospital for an appointment. I’m not going to be late. Then there is a detour around a tipped over 18 wheeled truck. So I’ve got to turn around reverse direction. I’m led right unto the greatest Death bridge EVER! The only bridge I do not want to travel over ever……unless because of a detour and a now in danger of arriving late to the doctors appointment at 4pm.

Silently I said a prayer and stated for fact, “Ok Alex, I’ll take the RocksVillage Bridge for double or nothing under the category of How fast can I get over this darn drawbridge without it opening or dropping me over the side for $20”. (I know $20 feels way too low….)

I turn the corner and pickup speed and begin holding my breath. I’m almost at a complete panic at this moment. Yup, there is an old pickup truck in no hurry at all who just had to cut out in front of me as I began holding my breath. Once the air is sucked in there isn’t any way I’m going to give it back unless I’m safely on the other side of the bridge.

This is the drawbridge open, not good. Fortunately this picture was from another day!)

A few things must not happen;

1. The bridge doesn’t malfunction and errantly aim my car like a missile launching it up, up and away narrowly missing the now opened drawbridge. Me seat-belted inside my 2001 Ford Focus being catapulted off the now opening side of the bridge deck. I’m holding on for dear life expecting a soft landing on the other side of the bridge. People abandon their cars and come running to cheer me on. Instead in real life on this past Monday my car is not a jet propelled Ford Focus. It is a 16 year old car with an ailing radiator hose. Said hose bids adieu at the very point of no return, the center of the bridge. The old buck in the old truck who cut in front of me is still only going 15 miles per hour. His floppy eared dog is enjoying her scenic view out the window as my radiator lets go with a winning splash unto my windshield and even more through the under carriage creating a plume of hot air and smoke and steam.

It was RIGHT THERE! Where the bridge narrows that it all let loose! Antifreeze flew out without any disregard for any morals left in this life…..🛒🛒🛒 there are abandoned shopping carts below. 🛌⛺️ homeless hobos sleeping and the boaters ⛵️🛶🛥🚤🛳🚢⛴ who may have happened past…. Quite possibly even a submarine🚅 a surfer dudette🏄‍♀️helicopter 🚁 train 🚂 or even a pres trump golfing 🤽‍♂️⛳️. So it was my lucky day wasn’t it?

My little focus has always has an attention span problem since inception, now with 100116 miles on it, does not immediately die. It does not fall in the river. It continues to be in the tail lights of that old stinky truck who has suddenly found the gas pedal and is lickedy-splitting from the exhaust who appears to be spewing obnoxious fumes as the turn to boiling steam after hitting to red hot exhaust. What’s a fine car like mine to do? Engine seize? Turn around and drive into the river to spite me? Seize its engine in the center of this very narrow drawbridge causing a traffic jam? Nope. This beautiful automobile named Howard keeps on driving. The temperature gage is rising. All systems are go for ignition! One half mile later at the best possible place to pull off the road is a Richdale Market. I slid in a parking spot and proceeded to cry my eyes out.

I did not make it to my original appointment. It took almost 4 hours to get home. Deciding to cut corners financially my husband and I agreed to pay for only 1 AAA membership. His membership. In all fairness he drives 1.5 hour commute twice a day. He is more entitled to it. I had to wait for his physical presence to appear before AAA would send out a flatbed. Me? I just make my rounds to various doctors appointments. Same old same ole. I wouldn’t have time to work anyway. Although I am working on college classes to get my bachelors in Sociology. If I drowned or something else happened I could have died. That just would not work.

Howard is as he is about to be loaded onto the auto ambulance. I just ❤️ my care so much. Maybe too much? Nah! Sometimes I think I’m funny. 👩‍👧‍👦🤷‍♀️

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